It's Real

The twins will be here next Friday.

No matter how many times I say it, I still can't believe it. There is a podcast/website called The Longest Shortest Time that is all about early motherhood but I think the title could also refer to pregnancy.

The past two years have been a series of waiting games: waiting for ovulation, waiting to see if The Saint's plumbing was primed for a baby, waiting to see if the pee stick showed a plus sign (really wish I had bought stock in EPT), waiting for the nurse or the doctor or the ultrasound tech, waiting....well, you get the picture. I felt like I did when I was 5 on Christmas Eve, anxiously awaiting the hour I could rouse my parents and open our Christmas gifts. (Sadly, it was never 3:30 am like I thought it should be. I suspect karma will soon be biting me in the ass for all of those Christmas mornings.)

And now, the moment is almost here and I can't believe it. There suddenly seems to be so many things I wanted to do that I didn't get to. The stack of parenting books have only been half read. There is still no space in the kitchen for baby dishes and other eating accessories. The high chairs are still in the box because I haven't had a chance to learn how to build an addition onto the back of the house to accommodate all the gear we have received in preparation for the babies. I still haven't mastered the swaddle technique without cheating and using Velcro or duct tape. Where did the time go?!!!??

Our days are now punctuated by sobering realizations that the two of us will soon be the four of us. At times, I wonder if this is what the Last Supper felt like. One life is about to end for us but another one is about to begin. Part of me will miss the life that is ending.

Fortunately, a much bigger part of me is eager to start the new one....


- The 2nd Mommy