Another Letter to My Boys

Dear Spud and Sprout -

It occurs to me that you may need to know a few things to make your transition from womb to world a bit smoother. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

You have been tap dancing on Mommy's bladder, head butting her in the ribs, and dictating when and what she can eat for the past few months. She never got the golden second trimester; instead, she got kidney stones (although she did enjoy the morphine). You might want to sleep for a few days when you get out just to give her a little break. Plan on going on lots of long walks or rides with me while she recovers. Mommy is a Saint....unless she is tired or hungry. That's when the three of us need to pull together and get her back on track. Or play it smart and just get out of her way.

I am sorry that only Mommy is going to breastfeed you. I know I could have tried and I seriously considered it, especially after I found out I could burn 500 calories a day! But I suspect my milk would be either curdled, khulua, or caffeinated, none of which you would enjoy. I promise I will help her every time and do everything else. We both agreed that if one of us is up, then we will all be up. (We'll see how long this will last.)

Please do not repeat any of the words Mommy said during the U.S. women's quarterfinal soccer match against Brazil when it is time to start talking. It was a real nail biter and some of those calls really were bullsh-... silly.

No rush on the walking thing. I finally convinced Mommy you really don't need shoes until you actually use your feet for something other than an attached pacifier.

Feel free to sleep in as often as you'd like, especially on the weekends, but not when you start school. (I bet all of the parents who read this just fell to the floor laughing hysterically. It's like winning the lottery: it could happen....)

Santa adds an extra present for every long nap you take.

Looking forward to more chats with you very soon but please stay in there just a little bit longer.

Love,

O'Mo

p.s. I am test driving different names for what you can call me. O'Mo seemed like a neat shortened version of other mother. However, I am now picturing Dick Van Dyke saying it in the voice he used for Mary Poppins and it sounds like a Cockney slur....



- The 2nd Mommy