I have hit information overload.
I consider myself a relatively smart person. As such, I believe in thoroughly preparing myself for the joys, sorrows and everything in between of motherhood by doing lots of research. My god, I teach composition for a living, so I know how this works. It turns out, there really is such a thing as too much information.
We have been reading quite a few baby books over the past few months. We attended all the parenting classes offered at our local hospital where I was the big dork who took volumes of notes. I even mocked those who dared to laugh at me during class. (Well, not to their face but those bitches smoking on break got a severe beat down in my head on the way home.) I have been on websites, talked to other parents and watched plenty of television shows about babies. And what can I tell you today about raising a child?
Don't shake the baby.
That's it. I am sitting here trying to remember something, anything useful and that's all I got.
So, what should you really expect when you are expecting, based on my expectations compared to my reality? (Catchy book title, no?)
You can expect everyone and their mother to come at you with every tidbit of info they have on parenting, good and bad. Sometimes, it is in the spirit of helping out a newbie. Often, it is simply sheer glee that someone else will soon be suffering as well. As the due date approaches, you will forget all of it.
You can expect to vacillate between total confidence ("Hell, if that dumbass at Olive Garden with the screaming spawns of Satan can do it without killing her kids, I can surely do this!") and utter terror ("Holy shit, what if they both turn out to be serial killers or Republicans?!??!")
You can expect at least 100 different answers to any given question you have.
You can expect to be completely overwhelmed the first four or five times you walk into Babies R Us. Just turn around and walk out. Go back when you are ready.
You can expect to curse Babies R Us every time you run in for a quick "one or two things" and walk out $200 and 2 hours later.
You can expect to curse yourself for not buying Babies R Us stock years ago.
But mostly, you can expect to let go of your expectations and enjoy the ride. Otherwise, you can expect a lot of sleepless nights before the babies even get here.
- The 2nd Mommy
I love your writing Kim, and am really enjoying reading about your journey! Everything you said here is SO true. Everyone has two cents to throw in (myself included, but only with the very best of intentions!), Babies r Us is a DANGEROUS place to go especially if you can't afford to leave with $200 worth of stuff when you went in for $20 worth. And, the biggest one of all... the way you picture it all going is never how it really happens! I wrote detailed birth plans for both my kids, and I can tell you that they were deviated from in a big way both times, particularly with the emergency situation with Lina. But, one thing that I know for sure is this: everyone goes into parenthood somewhat blind. Regardless if you have read yourself into a stupor about pregnancy and baby care, when those babies come, it'll be like you never heard any of it. I remember bringing Aidan home from the hospital, sitting his carrier car seat on the kitchen table as he slept, taking off my coat and shoes, and looking at Chris and saying, "okay... so, umm... what do we do now?" :) They are your babies, and you may get shat on a few times, definitely peed on with two baby boys to contend with, and it will take a little while to get to know them and their personalities, likes and dislikes. That said, I know how long you and Sue have wanted to be parents, and I know that you are both going to be fantastic at it, and your instincts will kick in right away. It's going to be amazing! You are both about to experience a love so deep it HURTS, one that in my experience is only felt for one's children. It's a beautiful gift, and I'm so happy for both of you that you find yourself here, finally, weeks away from welcoming TWO babies!! The years long wait is nearly over... and I can't WAIT to see pictures of the fruits of your baby efforts! I'm sure they are both perfect and gorgeous! I will keep all my millions of suggestions to myself, but I do have some good insight, so if you ever want to run something by me, I'm happy to share with you what worked for me, what didn't, what products are great and what can be skipped, etc etc. Looking forward to continuing to hear about your journey!
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