Our Coping Mechanism

A lot of people have asked us some variation of THE question. Sometimes it is explicit, said in a moment of unbridled shock and awe. Often, it is implicit, thinly veiled by what they consider a more polite and appropriate question. Once in awhile, it is unspoken and simply a look, a fleeting thought that quickly prances across their face like your gay cousin Steve at your sister's wedding reception when the deejay played "We are Family" by Sister Sledge. THE question?

How the hell are you going to handle two boys?

I get it. We're old, we're gay chicks and we're not well acquainted with certain parts that come with our little bundles of joy. Even I have pondered this question late at night when The Saint is sound asleep and I am trying really hard not to Nyquil myself to sleep for the 8th night in a row. But we have found our coping mechanism:

TLC.

For those who think I just got all gooey, snap out of it because I don't mean tender loving care. I am talking about Discovery's The Learning Channel, specifically a wonderful show called Make Room for Multiples. The premise of the show is simple: 30 minutes in the life of a family preparing for and then bringing home their newborn multiples. Often, it is about twins, but there have been shows about triplets and quadruplets. These are the shows that we live for.

First, the families profiled are usually heterosexual, and more often than not, the dads are pretty useless. (But big props to Discovery because they did feature a lesbian couple a few days ago: you just earned our unwavering support.) Sure, they love their babies and seem genuinely excited about their arrival. A few have even teared up during the delivery but I think one of them did so because his wife was crushing his hand during labor. However, once they get home, the dads often have to be given very specific instructions of what to do and they almost always look completely lost. This gives us great joy because we are very much on the same page when it comes to running our household. We also both grew up around kids and know how to feed, change, bathe and generally keep little ones alive. Our partnership is a truly equal one, so married folks have nothing on us. The show is an excellent reminder of this.

Second, the families profiled almost always have other kids, often very young ones. In fact, the lesbian couple they profiled had three-year-old triplets and were getting ready for a set of twins! WTF?!?! One segment of the show showed ONE of the mothers taking all FIVE kids grocery shopping. Again: WTF?!??! The Saint knows that I am not venturing out alone with the boys until they are at least 16 and can drive me to the grocery store. And I would never ask nor expect her to take the boys out on her own if she felt uncomfortable doing so. Bottom line: if folks can handle 3, 4 or 5+ kids (and we are talking folks on a reality show), we should be able to manage 2.

Finally, many of the featured families have very little help, at least none that we ever see. But The Saint and I are rallying the troops and we are not afraid to bring in reinforcements! With age comes wisdom, and we are wise enough to know that we cannot do this alone. Grandma and Grandpa are on standby, aunt Cool One already has a plan of what needs to be done now and when the time arrives, and friends have been forewarned that if they want to hold the babies, they also have to feed/burp/change/clean the babies (or us) as well.

But most importantly (and this something we have never seen on the show), our liquor cabinet is stocked and ready to go. And we are not afraid to use it.

Thank you, TLC. We so have this one in the bag.....




- The 2nd Mommy